hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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