Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
