Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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