is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
