Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
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Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
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And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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