we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize