oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
