please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
