there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
