I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
