i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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