i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize