$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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