PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
