so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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