I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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