should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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