would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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