yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
