You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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