She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
