I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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