I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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