Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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