I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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