What a fucking waste of an outfit
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
