I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
