Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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