yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
