if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
