i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Send help, water and tortillas.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
