ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
