Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
