I want you more than these girls want KFC
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
