I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
