No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
