I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
