ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Randomize
