cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize