Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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