Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
