East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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