I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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