I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
