Im at strip club and am horny
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
