I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
