I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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