Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
