are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
