you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
