You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
We smell like vodka and hangover
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
