what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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