I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
