yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
