I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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